5.2.2
Watching Amalia, I kept noticing how I thought she was so adult for her age. Is that perception or judgment? I don’t know. Certainly hearing a young woman say she had to work on her confidence, and that she had started directing as an 11 year old contradicted my ideas on confidence. At the same time I felt a resonance with every word as she expressed them, she I was witnessing a natural, passionate young person expressing truths about her own individual experience, I felt a sense of wonder at her approach to being.
When I was 11, I was shy and it was the 1970’s, I had zero confidence and was never encouraged to even know what that was. Though feedback years later would be that people perceived me as confident. As far as ageism goes. Or went for me in those days, I remember being overlooked and not listened to. Those words, “children should be seen and not heard”. Basically that felt like kids have no voice. Not being taken seriously or being experienced as someone who has dreams, a purpose, aspirations, potential because why would a child be important or contribute, the child must wait to grow up to know things. It was rare but it did happen that I felt heard, seen and known in a way that matured my self-confidence, sometimes by my grandmother or by a family friend. I’m not sure if that answers the inquiry? As its a long time ago and all I can really inquiry in to now is the memories, which are vague.
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