3.3 Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
What surprises me most about ACT is how effective acceptance can be. It reminds me of vipassana practice, where we sit with the immediacy of what is arriving without identifying with it or judging it. Pain becomes a sensation rather than something that defines the self. This reframing feels powerful. It suggests that suffering shifts when our relationship to experience changes, not when the experience disappears.
I don’t find acceptance hard to imagine in application. To me, acceptance is about being with myself and another person from a place of deep awareness and presence. It means meeting experience without judgement and with genuine curiosity. It is an inclusive stance allowing all parts to exist without rejection so the whole person can be held with compassion. ACT feels aligned with a way of being that values presence over control, and openness over resistance.
Values vs. goals
A values-focused life is about how I live, not just what I achieve. It’s guided by qualities of being, honesty, presence, curiosity, compassion, truth. Values don’t get completed; they are directions I keep choosing moment by moment. I can live my values in small actions every day, regardless of outcomes. A values-focused life feels grounded in meaning and integrity, even when circumstances are uncertain.
A goals-focused life is about destinations. Goals are measurable outcomes: finishing a course, building a career, achieving milestones. Goals can be motivating, but once they are reached, they end. If I live only by goals, my sense of worth can become tied to success or failure. It can feel like I’m always chasing the next marker instead of inhabiting the present.
Values guide the direction of my life, while goals are the steps I take along the way. I need both, but values tell me how I want to live, and goals are just things I work toward.
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